Breaking the cycle of silence

A parent's perspective on the Child Advocacy Center

Warning: This article covers topics that some readers may find upsetting, including rape and sexual assault.

Where one mother was faced with isolation and silence following her assault, her daughter has been surrounded by a community of support. Where history could have been repeated, Jane Doe ensured her daughter would not have to endure the same fate.

“Mine was horrific,” said Doe. “I had no support at all. I was told ‘you have to hide it’ and ‘pretend it didn't happen,’ so I hid it and repressed it for 18 years. I couldn’t even say that I was raped.”

She recalled the night her daughter told her what happened. As a nurse, and more importantly, as a survivor, Doe knew all too well the pain that her daughter was feeling.

“‘You were raped,’” Doe told her daughter. “‘I’m not saying this to you as your mom, I’m saying this to you as a nurse. We need to go to the hospital now. Someone has to see you.’ As her mom, it was so important to have other people tell her it wasn't her fault.”

Doe was quickly referred to the Child Advocacy Center for help and guidance. The CAC is a part of Copper Shores Victim Support, a team of trained professionals ready to provide comprehensive, trauma-informed care to survivors of sexual assault (and any other crime) by walking them through the medical and legal process, helping them effectively communicate their needs, connecting them to community resources and providing emotional support on their healing journey. Each case is assigned a dedicated multidisciplinary team, made up of victim advocates, local law enforcement, mental health professionals, child protective services and the county prosecutors, who work closely with survivors and their families to help them reintegrate into their community.

Many survivors miss weeks, or even months of school or work following an assault. With help from Copper Shores Victim Advocates, Doe’s daughter was back at school just a few days after her assault. Unfortunately the challenges didn’t stop there, but neither did Victim Support.

“Her perpetrator was in school with her,” said Doe. “Kids were saying ‘you wanted it’ and ‘you’re just using it as an excuse to cheat on your boyfriend.’ You don’t take 21 days of HIV medication that makes you sick, press charges and go through a rape exam just to prove a point.”

Bullying made her reintegration difficult, but Victim Advocates backed Doe’s daughter every step of the way. They gave her distraction techniques, connected her to counseling, met with her after school and made sure that she knew there was always somebody in her corner.

“The biggest thing was coordination with the school and community,” said Doe. “Anything she needed outside of medical treatment - whether it was work, or school, or sports, or anything like that - the advocates coordinated to explain with or for her.”

The Victim Support team creates a broad support network for survivors, even after their forensic exam is over and they leave the CAC.

“I saw the check-ins,” said Doe. “It reaffirmed for me that it works. Having been through it as a parent, I know that the advocates are checking in on them and that follow-up care is being done.”

Doe is thankful that her daughter’s healing journey has differed so greatly from her own. She considers her daughter to be worlds ahead of where she was at the same time in her journey.

“I won’t say she’s completely healed," said Doe. "But she can say it out loud, talk about it openly."

Contact us

To immediately get in touch with a victim advocate, call the Sexual Assault Hotline at (906) 482-5797.  For non-emergent requests, questions or to set up an interview at the CAC, call (906) 523-5920 and select option 2 to be connected with the Victim Support office.

Learn more

To learn more about the services and programs offered, visit the Victim Support page. If you are interested in supporting survivors of sexual assault and the work being done at Victim Support, please consider becoming a one-time or monthly donor. Donations can be made on the Donate page.